There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
