are you still at the devil's house?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
