Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
