what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
