TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
