am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
