Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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