i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
