JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
