Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
