so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize