i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
