Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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