Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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