Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
