I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
