She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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