Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
