I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
