if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
