K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
