I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
