Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
