Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
How does one acquire holy water?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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