Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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