do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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