he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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