i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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