we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
