Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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