I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
