oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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