I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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