He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
