but the lizard people decide everything anyway
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
