We're like a lot better than the average bears
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
