return my video game
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
