I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
