He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
no. you can't hotbox the world.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
