I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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