I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
