what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
