nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
