i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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