someone threw a dead crab at me
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
