I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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