she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
