girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
