as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
