she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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