OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
