Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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