I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
