Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
